Today I planned to do lots of laundry, put things away that are still out from our trips and unpack some boxes that are stilled packed up from our "renovation." So, imagine my distress when I went to put in a load of laundry this morning, only to find the laundry detergent was gone. I let the last of the bottle drip into the washer and realized I had to make a choice: go to wal-mart and get more detergent or let the laundry pile up one more day.
Against my better judgement, I opted to get laundry done. Which is not a bad decision in itself. The horror arises when the reality of having to go to Wal-Mart with my 3 boys is put into the mix. I told them in my most chipper voice we had to go to Wal-Mart. Max immediately starts whining that he just wants to stay home today. Grant starts gathering up all of his "treasures" to take with him: Bob the Builder suitcase, rope, metal airplane, rifle gun, and a nickel. I get Jack up (I had just laid him down for a morning nap), get myself dressed, search for 2 matching shoes for Grant, find the spare key to the van (my set has been missing a couple of days), tell Max it is too hot to wear sweatpants and gloves and get us all loaded into the car. We haven't even pulled out of the driveway yet when Max starts complaining about being thirsty.... which of course means Grant is thirsty too. I told them we'd get a drink at Wal-Mart. I have found that if I fill my children up with the 25 cent Wal-Mart brand drinks while we're there they are happier for approximately 5 minutes longer than they would be without. Every minute counts. You can probably guess what happenened next: the stupid cheap coke machine wasn't working. I had to scrape to find 50 cents to begin with and sharing one drink creates even more havoc so the trip started out with Max and Grant mad because they couldn't get a drink.
Against my better judgement again, I thought, "While I'm here I mine as well get a few other things that I need." I got a putty spreader, spackle, sandpaper and some full-size sheets. Grant was sitting in the back of the cart. He took the spreader to the sheets... not pretty. Max got mad and told me I was mean because I wouldn't get him any Superman cereal. Max took Grant's gun. Grant screamed at the top of his lungs. Max pretended to shoot Grant. Grant screamed at the top of his lungs. Grant began chanting, "I see trabs... I see trabs..." (Translation: I want to see the lobsters.) Max begins a game of hide-and-seek running from aisle to aisle. Grant wants to eat at McDonalds. Grant took the wrapper off the sandpaper so when we went to check out there was no way to scan it. Then the whole "price check" process begins. Max pretends to shoot Grant again and tease him with the stretchy lizard he brought into the store. More screaming. I'm positive the two young guys behind me in line will abstain for a while longer after seeing my kids in action.
On the way home, Grant starts crying, "I go to Wal-Mart. I not go home."